I didn’t choose to be me
I didn’t choose having lived a life that numbed me
I didn’t choose to grow up in a fucked up society
absorbing toxic ideals that made me hate religions and traditions
and consider them the source of all evil things
I didn’t choose to let it shape my personality
so viciously
I didn’t choose to be me
feeling so intensely
putting my heart out and feeling empty
over and over
scared of the future
scared of my past scared of myself
I wanted a simple life
a life with no worry
a life where I love and be loved
but how can I be loved if I can’t even introduce myself without wearing my heart out on my sleeve
always been the happy girl the bubbly girl who’s positivity shines through
had I forgotten to be me?
how can I be me?
when I refuse to identify with this malicious part
that’s been unwillingly planted in me
how can I be me?
when I’ve been living in denial for years
and I’d live in denial for years to come
only if it was easy
only if I could sleep and let the sunrise cleanse my soul
let me be
a simple selfless care-free me
living her life without limits
so endlessly
this is who I wanna be
the person who’s emerging from scratch
not the one I buried
hoping one day it’ll turn into ash and dust
but the one who gleams when she speaks and acts and loves…
herself before anyone else
let me be
the one who works hard to inspire
the ones who never stops following her dreams
knowing that it is not too late to learn new things
the one who leads her life in confidence
and never backs down weighed by doubts and fears
the one who believes that it is possible
to grow beauty out of pain
pale blue fragments 