Posted in Past

A fragment that failed its’ purpose

This piece of metal (image removed) is fragment of a massive explosion that landed on my room’s balcony in 2013. I was laying on my bed next to a wall-sized glass door. I always sat there and let my body get soaked in the subtle sunlight, as I watched the clouds moving in the sky in a swaying rythme. I would lay on my back and imagine as if gravity is reversed and the blue sky is my ground; a thought I was often amused by. I felt so lucky being able to watch the sky from my own bed and more clearly and vividly, from my balcony. The sky might’ve been at some point the most exciting thing in that lifeless town I called Home.

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Posted in Thoughts

Academic uncertainties

Sometimes my anxiety feels light and manageable, other times it feels like a more serious troubling issue. I’m not ashamed or worried to talk about it. People take the difficulties you project in a conversation lightly as long as you look and function like a normal person. Maybe developing anxiety is an outcome of being a university student. You need to sacrifice part of yourself to gain something. I’m not selfish. I don’t think there’s a lesson to learn here. Maybe we’re all living different versions of the same battle, or whatever you want to call it. I’ve been choosing to dissociate my thoughts from my feelings. This mechanism helps me to somehow deal with daily tasks that require a high level of focus.

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Posted in Thoughts

Wishes

If wishes make you happy wish until the end of time. Wish every person you knew happiness cause they deserve it, even the ones who caused you pain. Keep changing, growing, and embracing life. Work hard but don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s okay to mess up every once in a while. Leave the past behind, you are yourself now and nothing can change that. Make mistakes, lots of them! It’s healthy trust me. Say yes more often. When you feel like staying in your sweet comfort zone and not taking a risk, that’s exactly when you need to go against your feelings. Sometimes you’ll realize it was a mistake but there’s no mistake more foolish than sitting there wondering what you’re missing out on as life passes by. Learn from the good in people, appreciate it and talk about it. Be loud and confident. Some people won’t like you and that’s okay, stay kind anyway. We’re made of goodness and evil, that’s what makes you complete. The evil in you is just as pretty as any other. You don’t need friends who only want you the way they envision you to be. Cherish the ones who like you whole