Tag: feelings

Posted in Thoughts

Wishes

Posted on by palebluefragment

If wishes make you happy wish until the end of time. Wish every person you knew happiness cause they deserve it, even the ones who caused you pain. Keep changing, growing, and embracing life. Work hard but don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s okay to mess up every once in a while. Leave the past behind, you are yourself now and nothing can change that. Make mistakes, lots of them! It’s healthy trust me. Say yes more often. When you feel like staying in your sweet comfort zone and not taking a risk, that’s exactly when you need to go against your feelings. Sometimes you’ll realize it was a mistake but there’s no mistake more foolish than sitting there wondering what you’re missing out on as life passes by. Learn from the good in people, appreciate it and talk about it. Be loud and confident. Some people won’t like you and that’s okay, stay kind anyway. We’re made of goodness and evil, that’s what makes you complete. The evil in you is just as pretty as any other. You don’t need friends who only want you the way they envision you to be. Cherish the ones who like you whole

Posted in Past

Beauty in the details

Posted on by palebluefragment

Tuesday, October 13th, 2015, The sun rays lightly touched my skin as I waited in bed for the alarm to ring. It doesn’t matter what a sleepless night I had, I always manage to wake up earlier than my alarm, get my body the closest it can get to the glass door beside my bed, and let the sunlight warmth soak into my skin. I closed my eyes one more time. My heavy eyelids were getting lighter and warmer as I rewinded dreams of people I may never know. It wasn’t a pleasant morning from all the thinking I had the other night. I was wondering if I’ll ever be able to escape this town before our building crashes over me or something horrifying happens to someone I care for. Living in a war zone makes having these kinds of thoughts inevitable. Nonetheless, I was a positive dreamy child at heart. I smiled back at the glistering goddess beaming down on earth with delicate beauty at 8 am. I stepped out of bed, took my mini calendar in hand. With a purple inked pen, I tapped X on Monday the 12th. It’s a new day. I looked at my face in the mirror. It was calm still and pale. I applied makeup on my self-doubts and wore clothes I felt good seeing myself in. At that particular moment, I felt genuinely happy. A bird was picking on a fallen leaf on my balcony. My cup of tea smelled heavenly delicious. I closed my eyes and took a sip. “Beauty is in the details,” I wrote these words on a scrap of paper and stuck it on the wall in the corner of my room; where my head lied on my pillow. I left the house after taking one last glance with half a smile I got used to looking at myself with, and in pictures, and at people. I thought of all the ones I’ll see today; distant friends I felt happy with but never truly connected to – people who will never know how nice the light gusts of wind and morning sunshine scatters made me feel.

Posted in Past

Bike Ride

Posted on by palebluefragment

I was this five years old girl on her pink bicycle. We were in my village and there was this slight hill in front of my grandparents’ house. I saw my older siblings go down the hill on their bikes and all I wanted was to do the same. They warned me because it was obvious I would get myself hurt, even I knew it. Still, I waited until no one was around and drove down, a fragile girl on a baby bike with no brakes. I felt so happy going down the tilted road, free and fearless, like what used to race through my imagination watching birds and butterflies. Well until the bike kept going unstoppably to then crash and break into pieces.. and I was there, too, with scratched elbows and bruised knees; I started crying and screaming. This is the highlight of that day still vivid in my memory. But the thing is, looking back now and then I realize that over 19 years life changed so many things about me. It may have changed my pink color fever but it hasn’t made the slightest touch on my stubborn personality. I’ve never accepted being told the consequences of doing something insane, I had to try it myself and I still do. But now, the naive child in me is dead. What would I do at this moment in the same situation? I asked myself. The answer was a crystal clear vision in my head. I would go down that hill all over again, but this time, I will make sure my bike has strong brakes.