Tag: Dreams

Posted in Stories

Mama Bird & Baby

Posted on by palebluefragment

I walked by two baby birds, one of them was clumsy and he couldn’t grab his food as easily as the other bird. I found the clumsiness of the baby bird funny. As I kept walking, I saw the clumsy bird’s mom. I jokingly told her about her baby’s clumsiness and laughed. She got angry and let out a hissing sound showing her sharp teeth, which I’ve never seen a bird show before. I thought that she didn’t understand my joke so I repeated it, but she hissed even harder. I then realized that my joke was not funny at all! Mama Bird didn’t like someone making fun of her baby. She also looked visibly distressed and sad. I don’t understand Bird language, and so it was hard for me to know what was going on in her mind.

Continue reading “Mama Bird & Baby” →
Posted in Thoughts

Academic uncertainties

Posted on by palebluefragment

Sometimes my anxiety feels light and manageable, other times it feels like a more serious troubling issue. I’m not ashamed or worried to talk about it. People take the difficulties you project in a conversation lightly as long as you look and function like a normal person. Maybe developing anxiety is an outcome of being a university student. You need to sacrifice part of yourself to gain something. I’m not selfish. I don’t think there’s a lesson to learn here. Maybe we’re all living different versions of the same battle, or whatever you want to call it. I’ve been choosing to dissociate my thoughts from my feelings. This mechanism helps me to somehow deal with daily tasks that require a high level of focus.

Continue reading “Academic uncertainties” →
Posted in Stories

Ketchup Festival

Posted on by palebluefragment

September 5th 2018

I was sitting in the metro with a childhood friend from school and we were discussing the book Mad Shadows by Marie-Claire. I looked to the seat in front of me and saw that my French professor was sitting next to Vincent Van Gogh. I was not surprised because I thought that Vincent was just one of us. My teacher offered to gift me the original book that we were discussing earlier but I refused. I rented books and didn’t like accumulating them. Then I started noticing that Vincent’s ears were perfectly normal and he started looking more angel-like, as if he was taken right out a painting. The metro stopped in the middle of nowhere, doors wide opened and there were trampolines everywhere. Everyone was screaming “ketchup” so I told my friend, teacher, and Vincent not to worry cause it’s the Ketchup festival! We stepped outside of the metro where everyone seemed exceptionally happy! They looked loud but it sounded silent, as if someone put the volume on “mute”. A beautiful man with a nose piercing told me that he loved me and I told him that he’s an asshole because I knew him. I accepted his words anyway. Then we all went to a theatre that had round tables instead of theatre seats. We sat down and ate tuna with lemons.

Posted in Thoughts

Letters

Posted on by palebluefragment

Your worth as a human being and your academic success are directly correlated. The road to success is paved with anxiety and fear. Fear is becoming greater than your passion. Diminishing passion is killing your motivation. It is killing creativity. Who needs creativity when the only qualification you need is a letter on a transcript? Worry about creativity only as a subject of the future. The far far future. After you secure your future and your creativity dies. Who will die? You or it? Are you truly alive when you’re not doing what truly makes you feel alive? Are you sure that what you think makes you alive is what makes you alive? You need the fear. Maybe sacrifice a year. Your twenty first year. Your twenty second year. Get hypnotized. Wake up in your twenty forth or fifth year with a paper and a letter. A letter that will secure the future you killed for a number of years in your twenty something years. Do not look around and wonder like a foolish young person with a dreamer’s disease. Your symptoms are clear. One is the failure to separate reality from the illusion. Dreams are causing you confusion. Fear is getting bigger and it’s onto killing the dream. You talk to someone who “knows better”. They say it’s better to cure your disease before it spreads. They say the cure is the letter. They know better. Worry now and think later. Do the following steps: One. Two. Three. This is all you need to know. Leave now. Come back when you get better. And by better I mean, your worth printed in better letters.