I walked by two baby birds, one of them was clumsy and he couldn’t grab his food as easily as the other bird. I found the clumsiness of the baby bird funny. As I kept walking, I saw the clumsy bird’s mom. I jokingly told her about her baby’s clumsiness and laughed. She got angry and let out a hissing sound showing her sharp teeth, which I’ve never seen a bird show before. I thought that she didn’t understand my joke so I repeated it, but she hissed even harder. I then realized that my joke was not funny at all! Mama Bird didn’t like someone making fun of her baby. She also looked visibly distressed and sad. I don’t understand Bird language, and so it was hard for me to know what was going on in her mind.
Continue reading “Mama Bird & Baby”Tag: #dream
Academic uncertainties
Sometimes my anxiety feels light and manageable, other times it feels like a more serious troubling issue. I’m not ashamed or worried to talk about it. People take the difficulties you project in a conversation lightly as long as you look and function like a normal person. Maybe developing anxiety is an outcome of being a university student. You need to sacrifice part of yourself to gain something. I’m not selfish. I don’t think there’s a lesson to learn here. Maybe we’re all living different versions of the same battle, or whatever you want to call it. I’ve been choosing to dissociate my thoughts from my feelings. This mechanism helps me to somehow deal with daily tasks that require a high level of focus.
Continue reading “Academic uncertainties”Ketchup Festival
September 5th 2018
I was sitting in the metro with a childhood friend from school and we were discussing the book Mad Shadows by Marie-Claire. I looked to the seat in front of me and saw that my French professor was sitting next to Vincent Van Gogh. I was not surprised because I thought that Vincent was just one of us. My teacher offered to gift me the original book that we were discussing earlier but I refused. I rented books and didn’t like accumulating them. Then I started noticing that Vincent’s ears were perfectly normal and he started looking more angel-like, as if he was taken right out a painting. The metro stopped in the middle of nowhere, doors wide opened and there were trampolines everywhere. Everyone was screaming “ketchup” so I told my friend, teacher, and Vincent not to worry cause it’s the Ketchup festival! We stepped outside of the metro where everyone seemed exceptionally happy! They looked loud but it sounded silent, as if someone put the volume on “mute”. A beautiful man with a nose piercing told me that he loved me and I told him that he’s an asshole because I knew him. I accepted his words anyway. Then we all went to a theatre that had round tables instead of theatre seats. We sat down and ate tuna with lemons.
City of Belonging
I was walking aimlessly in Montreal when I saw a narrow pathway with old houses and dusty pavement. I felt curious that I had to cross. I looked to my right and there was a bridge. A pedestrian bridge in the middle of the space. It was spring. Everything was green. The sun was dimming and the temperature was exactly how I loved to feel. Warm with soft air breeze. It gave me chills. I started walking down the bridge and my heart was beating. I heard music playing so I kept walking. I saw this rooftop next to the bridge. There was a band playing on the violin and the music felt breathtaking. It moved me like nothing before in my life. I kept walking till the end of the floating bridge. My final way out was station Côte Sainte Catherine. In my dream, I was baffled as I didn’t know this station existed and at first I didn’t know where I was but I was feeling ecstatic that I had found this discrete space. I had to come back there. I told someone about this outlet and we met there but this time it was in the freezing winter weather. I took his hand and we went through that narrow alley with old astonishing houses and snowy pavement. This time I was paying more attention to the carvings on the doors and decorative doorknobs. I felt shivers down my spine. I looked to my side again and there was the floating bridge. It was foggy we could hardly see in front of us. It was incredibly calm. I was searching for the rooftop and when I got there, there was no band playing. There were no people at all, so I leaped over and helped him leap to the top as well. I walked till the very end, looking at the foggy space around me. It appeared to be late at night. I heard music and it was beautiful. When I looked around there wasn’t anyone, no instruments, nothing. My heartbeats were racing. I took a deep breath and told him that my soul had finally found a place to belong.