Posted in Past

A fragment that failed its’ purpose

This piece of metal (image removed) is fragment of a massive explosion that landed on my room’s balcony in 2013. I was laying on my bed next to a wall-sized glass door. I always sat there and let my body get soaked in the subtle sunlight, as I watched the clouds moving in the sky in a swaying rythme. I would lay on my back and imagine as if gravity is reversed and the blue sky is my ground; a thought I was often amused by. I felt so lucky being able to watch the sky from my own bed and more clearly and vividly, from my balcony. The sky might’ve been at some point the most exciting thing in that lifeless town I called Home.

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Posted in Thoughts

Academic uncertainties

Sometimes my anxiety feels light and manageable, other times it feels like a more serious troubling issue. I’m not ashamed or worried to talk about it. People take the difficulties you project in a conversation lightly as long as you look and function like a normal person. Maybe developing anxiety is an outcome of being a university student. You need to sacrifice part of yourself to gain something. I’m not selfish. I don’t think there’s a lesson to learn here. Maybe we’re all living different versions of the same battle, or whatever you want to call it. I’ve been choosing to dissociate my thoughts from my feelings. This mechanism helps me to somehow deal with daily tasks that require a high level of focus.

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