Objective: correct release of unwanted sensations.
Introduction: Showing negative emotions is not cool. Tears are for the pathetic. Sadness must be locked in and hidden three layers under skin: enthusiasm, neutrality, and anguish.
Procedure:
When in solitude, follow the subsequent steps accordingly:
1- slowly peel layers one and two.
Layer one: cool positive outlook on life with an adequate level of mind clarity. Highly socially approved!
Layer two: cool neutral state. A resting bitch face is satisfactory. Mediocre social approval.
Layer three: uncool but true-to-self anguish. Dangerous and leads to social errors. Must remain fully intact for the purpose of this step.
2- activate natural body signals to control the use of layer three. Trust your gut feelings for optimal efficiency.
You’ll observe anguish gushing into tears: A clear soul-cleansing salty liquid. Mmm tastes anguishy!
Don’t calculate the percentage of error. Tear percentage will vary from experiment to another.
3- steadily get out of solitude, rearranging layers one to three. One laying on the surface, three deep underneath. Two in-between. One and two can alternate in case of emergency. Beware of maintaining third layer’s invisibility.
Hazards: tears can lead to a coughing response to clear throat from accumulated phlegm.
Don’t choke on your own tears. Breathe slowly.
References:
“Chemistry of the Uncool Feelings” lab manual, twenty first edition
pale blue fragments 