Posted in Thoughts

10 winter simple pleasures

1- Holding a warm herbal teacup with both hands and breathing its vapors. Closing your eyes softly while doing so.

2- The gentle warmth that enters your body when you get onto the bus after freezing by the station and it’s -20 degrees outside.

3- Getting out of the shower all wet. Subtly directing the hair dryer inside your shirt and in your ears.

4- Feeling the Strepsils lozenge melt in your mouth, soothing your sore aching throat.

5- Putting a cream that smells delicious on your dry hands. Running your hand on your face and feeling your satin skin.

6- Placing your feet so close to the heater. Feeling it sending warm chills to your entire body.

7- Holding someone’s hands when you don’t have gloves on or putting your hands in someone else’s warm pocket AKA your personalized human heater.

8- Feeling like a fluffy stuffed animal with your full winter gear on and enjoying your chunkiness.

9- Cocooning in your bed, melting into your blanket. Being lazy but subtle, all with a hella good of an excuse.

10- Add yours.

Posted in Past

Beauty From Pain

I didn’t choose to be me

I didn’t choose having lived a life that numbed me

I didn’t choose to grow up in a fucked up society

absorbing toxic ideals that made me hate religions and traditions

and consider them the source of all evil things

I didn’t choose to let it shape my personality

so viciously

I didn’t choose to be me

feeling so intensely

putting my heart out and feeling empty

over and over

scared of the future

scared of my past scared of myself

I wanted a simple life

a life with no worry

a life where I love and be loved

but how can I be loved if I can’t even introduce myself without wearing my heart out on my sleeve

always been the happy girl the bubbly girl who’s positivity shines through

had I forgotten to be me?

how can I be me?

when I refuse to identify with this malicious part

that’s been unwillingly planted in me

how can I be me?

when I’ve been living in denial for years

and I’d live in denial for years to come

only if it was easy

only if I could sleep and let the sunrise cleanse my soul

let me be

a simple selfless care-free me

living her life without limits

so endlessly

this is who I wanna be

the person who’s emerging from scratch

not the one I buried

hoping one day it’ll turn into ash and dust

but the one who gleams when she speaks and acts and loves…

herself before anyone else

let me be

the one who works hard to inspire

the ones who never stops following her dreams

knowing that it is not too late to learn new things

the one who leads her life in confidence

and never backs down weighed by doubts and fears

the one who believes that it is possible

to grow beauty out of pain

Posted in Thoughts

Reborn

The great thing about moving to a new country other than escaping a terrible situation was the freedom of being reborn. Of being a complete stranger. Of not being expected to be anything. I could be anything. I could be anyone! I thought I wouldn’t have to worry about the past anymore, but memories remain vivid in my dreams. This is home. This is my home. But I know that one day I’ll have too many memories, know too many people, and want to be reborn again, somewhere new.